This email landed him an interview.
I get hundreds of LinkedIn messages and emails.
The truth?
Most of them are generic, low-effort attempts that get ignored.
“I noticed we both work in cyber. Let’s chat!”
“Are you interested in some virtual coffee?”
“I applied to your company. Can you forward my resume to the manager?”
“How are you doing today?”
“Can you review my resume?”
Writing a cold message to a stranger is one of the hardest things you’ll do as a job seeker. What are you supposed to say? How can you get them to respond? How can you possibly stand out knowing everyone else is reaching out too?
Today I break down one of the best candidate emails I’ve ever gotten.
It provides a solid framework that you can use for your own messages.
Let’s check it out!
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Why this message is so good:
1. Brief and to the point
This message took me 20 seconds to read. Recruiters get bombarded constantly and unfortunately we don’t have time to read novels. The shorter the message the better! It’s also straight forward and clear. No nonsense. No fluff. No unnecessary jargon. No one wants to spend time reading your life story. Shorten things up!
2. Personal
“Noticed your post on LinkedIn” - a simple way to make the message personal. He reached out the same day I posted about a job opportunity he was interested in. When you reach out to someone, try to mention something about their work history, content, experience, or even a point of common ground. It helps break the ice and shows that you care and that you’re not a robot.
3. Evidence of research
Recruiters and hiring managers LOVE when candidates do their homework. You can tell in this message that he did plenty of it.
“Just dug into how large ISC/OT footprints use Dragos” - this shows he understands the market that we work in.
“I’m curious to learn more about the go-to-market Christophe, Amanda, and team are orchestrating” - he took the time to research key players on our team, including the hiring manager! This shows passion and interest.
4. Value proposition
Don’t be afraid to sell yourself in your messages! Don’t over do it and always make it relevant. In this case, the message indicated that he had the right sales background including working with a similar customer base to Dragos - “including firms like Pacific Gas & Electric”. Notice that he didn’t write 3 paragraphs about everything he had done. He kept it relevant to OUR needs (cybersecurity sales experience).
5. Creative soft close
Notice he didn’t ask for anything in this message like, “let’s jump on a call” - “please review my resume” - “can you do this and that…”. He simply showed a lot of interest, did his homework, and provided what I like to call a “soft close” which means a gentle nudge towards next steps.
“There may be a fit here”
“How can I earn my day in court” - a creative way of saying - “what can I do to move forward for this position?”. I loved this because it shows humility and a willingness on his part to prove himself.
Conclusion
I replied to this email and reached out for a call because I was impressed (and he happened to have the right background). I almost never do that because I have extremely limited time and most messages I read don’t represent this level of effort.
I’m not suggesting you copy and paste this message and use it yourself. But you should take away some key lessons.
Always be brief
Make it personal
Do your homework
Show your value
Provide a soft close
Try some of these things out and let me know how it goes!
Good luck!
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